


Tally Mark

by Alice_Luna



Series: Tally Mark [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: 3rd Person Limited POV, AU, F/M, Mainly focuses on Touka, Though I really only changed one thing, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 01:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4687157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Luna/pseuds/Alice_Luna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: AU in which every time a person falls in love, a red line like a tally mark appears on their wrist. When the tally mark turns black, the love is requited. When the person dies, the tally mark becomes a scar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tally Mark

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first full out one shot for Tokyo Ghoul. I used a lot of lines from the manga (using Twisted Hell Scans' translations for accuracy) and added in the thoughts in between the lines. I hope Touka's thoughts aren't so OOC and that it's not too terrible, please enjoy it.

Was romantic love necessary? There are other types of love that can give a person contentment and happiness, so why do people think that because you don’t have romantic love, you’re empty? For Kirishima Touka, those types of things didn’t make any sense.

Frankly, it was downright annoying to have people comment on things like that.

“Touka-chan, you still haven’t found a boyfriend?” a regular at the shop asked, noticing her empty wrist. “Even though any boy would do anything for you to fall in love with them, you aren’t interested in any of them?”

“I have more important things to worry about,” she answered with a smile as she set down their coffee. Though on the inside, she wanted nothing more than to snap her tray in half at the ‘wonderful advice’ (because she obviously couldn’t hit a customer). “Enjoy your coffee.”

It was even more irritating and skin crawling when people try to hit on her. Humans, she could deal with humans easily, it was so easy to scare them or do something to make them keep their distances. Ghouls, ghouls on the other hand were a freaking pain.

Especially that Shitty Tsukiyama.

“Oh Kirishima-san! You’re looking as beautiful as ever! Won’t you let me have a taste of you?”

“Don’t fret, Kirishima-san. I will give you the best first love that you could ever hope for.”

“Kirishima-san!”

The number of times that she punched him was too many too keep track of. Where does the shitty little gourmet get all that arrogance from? If it wasn’t for the fact that they were on equal strength, she would’ve killed him ages ago! Luckily, he eventually cooled off and slithered back to wherever he came from.

But that one annoyance disappearing didn’t make anything better. People still looked at her blank wrist and talked about her in hushed tones. Why did people judge her for having no marks on her wrist? Why did they seem to pity her and her blank wrist? Was it that shocking that she, at her age, never fell in love with anyone? It’s not like everyone has to find someone to love!  

At some point, she found it easier to cover her wrists from those judgmental looks.

But it was nearly impossible for her wrists to be covered all the time. At some point, it became an unspoken rule that no one should mention it. There’s only one person who really talks about her lack of marks seriously anymore and that was Yoriko.

“Mou Touka-chan, you should try and find love!” the girl insisted.  

“I’d rather focus on other things.” Like that fried chicken that just won’t go down her stomach peacefully.

Fortunately, Yoriko took the hint and switched topics. “Oh, like that Literature exam we took the other day? How did you do this time?”

“Same as usual.” At this rate, it’ll be tough passing to be able to move onto the next year.

“Maybe you should get a tutor and maybe your tutor will be this nice guy who—”

“I might consider getting a tutor,” Touka interrupted quickly. Really, she knows Yoriko means well, but it doesn’t make the topic any less annoying for her. Still, it’s not like she’s trying to do anything. For the moment.

“Oh and I saw some study books the other day. They looked like they’d be pretty helpful in terms of study tips and everything. Do you want to go after school to look at them?”

“Sure.”    

On their way back home, it was late, but there were still people around here and there. Lavender hair caught her eye. Wasn’t that Rize? Is she luring another human?

“Touka-chan? Is something wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Touka answered, “Let’s go Yoriko.”

She should talk to the manager about making that woman go on a diet or something. This must be her 12th meal this week. At least. She thought that someone whose face she could barely remember didn’t matter. He was probably going to die tonight anyways.

Yet he came back, donning a single kakugan. He called her a monster yet pleaded for help. How disgustingly irritating.  

Even though he was annoying as hell, why did she bother helping such a useless guy from getting destroyed in this ghoul-eat-ghoul-world?

* * *

 

“… In fact… It’d be better for a murderer like me to die.” Yes, it would be better if someone like her just dies, someone who doesn’t have much left to live for, someone who can be easily forgotten and abandoned. Wouldn’t that be a better end? Yet there are a few people (like Hinami) that she still needs to live for. “I know there’re good people among the humans but… ’Ghouls’ like Ryouko-san and Hinami are killed arbitrarily without being able to help themselves without even knowing anything and without even seeing anything.”

“Just like… Just like you said I can’t kill humans.” Of course. Humans will side with humans. Someone as weak willed as him can’t take a life. Why can’t he stop spewing out whatever nonsense he’s talking about? Oh well. It doesn’t matter. He’ll go away soon enough. Just like everyone else. After all, isn’t it easy to leave her?

“But the day I saw Ryouko-san’s last moments, I had a strong thought.” Thought? “If you died, Touka-chan, I would probably be… sad.”

She couldn’t believe her ears when she heard that. Her heart throbbed a little, warming her body a little. She didn’t know what it was and she didn’t bother to pay much attention to it since there were more important things on her mind than some warm feeling in her chest.

But there’s one thing that she could tell for sure. Maybe he’s not so bad after all. For a former human.

“Ah, that so?” But of course, she wouldn’t let him know that. He can easily go back on his word. “In the end, what is it that you wanted to say?”

“Teach me how to use the kagune.” Teach? “I can’t kill the investigators… but doing nothing is also unacceptable,” he stated as determination colored his eyes.

She smirked as she saw his resolve. Maybe he won’t be so bad. Maybe he can even become a good ally to have around. “Hmph… What are you planning, Shithead-Kaneki?”

The throbbing in her chest was now faint, but still present.

* * *

Touka pulled the blanket up higher so that Hinami wouldn’t get too cold.

It had been a long night. Hinami was sleeping peacefully enough (Touka just hoped that the girl would wake up screaming from a nightmare). Touka wanted to sleep too, but she needed to clean the blood off.

Her hands trembled slightly as she remembered that man, not because he was terrifying but rather because of who he was. That man, as cruel and heartless as he seems, had a family, people he cared about who probably cared about him… And she killed him for Hinami’s sake and for her sake. In this world, it’s either kill or be killed, but…  

The warm water showered down on her, soothing her raging thoughts and emotions. When Touka got out, she dried herself and as she reached for her pajamas, she noticed something on her wrist.

A _red_ something.

A red mark… No, that can’t be right! This is just blood that couldn’t wash off! Touka hurried towards the sink and tried rubbing off the red. But no matter how many times she rubbed and no matter how much soap she went through, the mark remained, neat, red, and obvious against her pale skin.

She wanted to scream and pull her hair out. But Hinami was already exhausted, the girl didn’t need to deal with this, she needed to sleep. Touka didn’t even want to deal with this right now.

When the hell did this thing appear? Who—

An image of a certain eyepatched boy crossed her mind.

“Goddammit,” she mumbled out, wanting to punch something.

She thought he didn’t matter that much, he’s maybe a friend, at most. Maybe.

She didn’t think the little flutter in her chest mattered when Yoriko insisted to eat food with him and the next day asked how her boyfriend was doing.

She didn’t think she knew him enough to care about where he was going with that Shitty Nishiki.

She didn’t think she feel such bile in her throat and frustration as she failed to protect him from that Yamaori guy.

Yet she cared, she honestly cared for him. And it seemed like he honestly cared for her. At least, that’s why she thinks that’s why that little red tally was on her wrist. Why else would she decide that she would go to save him, with or without help?

“Touka!”

She blinked and remembered where they were. “Yomo-san… Uta-san… I’m sorry.”

“Concentrate,” Yomo reminded. “Do you want to die?!”

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“That’s not like you Kirishima-san!”

They were right. This isn’t like her. She was too unfocused thinking about things that shouldn’t matter, things that weren’t relevant to right now. Yet she couldn’t stop thinking about him. God, did people become this stupid when they fell in love? (Yes, at this point she might as well fucking admit it!)  

* * *

“Yamori is a torture loving pervert.” Ayato sneered. “That guy is already dead. So you’re here for no reason. Hurry up and go home, dumbass.”

Her eyes widened behind the mask and Touka immediately threw herself at him. “Shut up! You fucking brat!”

_He wasn’t dead._

There’s no way that he could be dead!

She’s still too unfocused. She could still tell since her hits aren’t getting in and she can’t seem to dodge any of his attacks. Unfocused because of Shitty Kaneki. Unfocused because of her shitty brother. With enough hits to her head, Ayato vaguely resembles their father and that hurts more than anything. Because she remembers her father and she remembered an innocent boy who had yet to be scarred by life. It hurts seeing what that little boy grew up into.

She remembers pain and loneliness of being left behind by the people she loved the most.

Mother…

…Father.

Ayato…

Why did they have to go?

“Don’t leave me alone…”

“Sleep!”

Right before her eyes, someone grabbed her before Ayato could hit her with the final blow. In a low voice, they said, “I won’t.”

She could barely stay conscious, but she was sure that even if her head wasn’t throbbing, she wouldn’t be able to recognize him now. “Is that you…?” He looked so _different_ , it wasn’t just his hands or his hair that changed the most, there was something more.

“Touka-chan…” he called out with wide eyes. Even his voice sounded different but that still wasn’t it. “Did you come to save me?”

“Y-You…” Even the little things were different. The way he held himself, the way he stood, the way his expression became crestfallen…Just what happened in those 10 days that they’ve been apart?

But before she could even process another thought, he spoke. “You’re so beaten up.” That’s when she realized it. “And it’s all my fault… I’m sorry.” His eyes, his eyes didn’t hold innocence anymore. He’s seen things that will haunt him for years to come and he’ll never be the same.

“But what…did they… do to you…” Her eyesight began wobbling and she felt like she couldn’t stay conscious much longer. “Idi…ot,” she mumbled out before everything faded into black.

After she woke up, he didn’t look like he was here as he looked off in the distance. She wanted to be closer to him again.

“Hey you…” she called out softly. Kaneki turned to face her. Why did it somehow seem so much more embarrassing to be around him? “What are you gonna do about your hair color when we go back? When you’re standing around the shop you’re going to stand out a lot.”

He smiled like he used to, but his words weren’t what she was expecting. “I won’t be returning to Anteiku.” W-What? “There are things I want to do. For that reason, I need to prepare. I have to get stronger. There’re still a lot of things I need to find out. I have no time.”  

She clenched her hand and trembled in anger. "What... the hell?"

Fine then, if he wasn’t coming back, then she wanted to go with him. It wouldn’t be weird, especially since other people wanted to go with him. B-Besides, she wanted to repay the favor since he caught her and everything.  

“Ka…Kaneki. Me too…I will also—“

“Touka-chan, aren’t you going to college?” Something in her heart twitched in pain. “Don’t you have to take exams next year? You have to start studying soon. The shop’s probably going to be a bit short-staffed now. I’ll occasionally drop for some coffee. I’d like to see your latte art again, Touka-chan. Your rabbit pictures are good… I like them.”

She didn’t say anything. She _couldn’t_ say anything. What could she possibly say in a situation like this? ‘Stay’? ‘Don’t leave’? Those words wouldn’t change anything because he looks like he’s already made up his mind.

“See you later, Touka-chan.” He smiled that same smile and she couldn’t help but feel that something was hurting. His eyes narrowed and looked somewhere else. Where was he going to go?  

She couldn’t stand still anymore and ran off.

Her foot snagged on a tree root without her noticing and she fell down. Touka gripped the ground tightly and breathed out slowly. What the hell was she doing? Running away doesn’t make anything better. (It’s not like he’s going to follow her!) She heard soft, quick steps against the ground, knowing exactly who it was. “Go away, Shitty Nishiki.”

But everything remained silent. “Cry if you want, Shitty Touka.”

…Cry?

Hah!

Didn’t they already know that her tears dried up a long time ago? What’s the pain of another person leaving her? Shouldn’t she already be used to this?

Touka stood up. “I’m not going cry. Let’s hurry up to where Yoshimura-san and everyone are.”

Later that night she hid in the comfort of her room where there was no one to judge her and no one to comfort her. Frustration and sorrow filled her. Just how many more people is she going to lose? Even though he said he wouldn’t leave her alone, he did just that, didn’t he? Idiot Kaneki, he shouldn’t make promises that he wasn’t going to keep.

In times like this, she would hold onto the only memento she had left of her parents, an old wedding ring. Her parents stayed together until they were forced apart. Touka thought of that as something beautiful. Only death would keep them apart. She wished that someone would do that for her. But maybe there’s just something about her that makes her so easy to leave.  

As she pulled the ring towards her she noticed something different about her wrist.

A solid black tally stood on her wrist. The once red line is now black.

Why… Why was it black?

He left her, it should still be red!

This had to be a mistake, he couldn’t have—If he loved her, then he shouldn’t have _left_.

Why were these feelings so confusing? If he did love her, then why didn’t he want her to come with him? Why wouldn’t he let her follow him?

She tried to remember all the words he said, all the things he wanted to do now that he had a new perspective on life, all the reasons why he eased her towards her current state. He wanted her to stay in school. He wanted her to continue to have a ‘normal’ life. Isn’t that everything that she’s wanted for years? To live a ‘peaceful’ life? If she went with him, then it would be impossible to remain connected to the human world. Was that how he expressed his ‘love’? By pushing her away into a life that would probably be so much better than following him?

She looked at the ring in her hand.

Mom…

Dad…

Was it this painful when they were separated? Or did it hurt them worse?

She closed her eyes, remembering how cold his hands had become. Almost as though he was dead.

“Don’t leave me alone,” she remembered she said. And he promised that he wouldn’t leave her alone. What was the point in believing that he would be different? Even though she was happy that he said he wouldn’t leave her alone. “Fuck you… Shitty Kaneki,” she mumbled out as she clutched harder onto her parents’ old wedding ring with one hand and to her wrist on the other hand.

She closed her eyes and realized that this shitty feeling _is_ love.

Fine then. Next time they met, she’ll just have to give him reasons to stay. For now, She’ll just have to wait for him.

* * *

She tries to keep busy, she really does. But no matter how busy she gets it still isn’t enough because she still has enough time to think about him and remember the way he held her practically unconscious body, the promises that he has yet to fulfill, the look he gave her when he said goodbye.

Maybe it would help if she didn’t try to get into the same university that he went to…

But she already made up her mind and decides to drown herself in studying. Touka stepped out to get another can of coffee. Sure, her grades aren’t the best as Yoriko points out, but with enough effort, even she might have a chance. (Maybe… So she’ll probably have to ask Shitty Nishiko for help.)

Touka heard the footsteps, but she never expected to be hugged as a young girl called out, “Onee-chan!”

“Hinami?” They settled on the bench next to the vending machine. “Have you been well?” It feels like it’s been so long since she last saw the girl.

“Yeah! How’s the studying going, Onee-chan?”

Continuous nights of fall unconscious on her desk after hours of trying to comprehend her textbooks… “Don’t bring up painful things.” Touka blinked and noticed something different about Hinami. “Ah, you got your hair cut, didn’t you?”

There was a little hesitation in her answer. “Yep, Onii-chan did it…”

“…I see.” Maybe she should’ve let him cut Hinami’s hair the first time instead of trimming it herself. “It really suits you. It’s cute.” Though the fact that she’s here… “But, Hinami, how did you get here?”  

“I came along with Onii-chan.”

“… That guy came too?” She can’t have too much hope or she’ll be even more disappointed.

“He’s taking care of some business right now, I wonder where he went off to.”

“…I see.” Well, what else could she expect? He’s probably too busy doing whatever to pay her a visit or remember that he said he was going to visit. “You’re not having any trouble over there?”

“Nope, because everyone is really good. There are a lot of people like Onii-chan there. It’s fun.” Hinami’s smile faded a little. “I miss you though, Onee-chan.” But it’s not like she can drop everything and follow Kaneki, he already told her no once and that was enough. “Onee-chan… Do you miss Onii-chan?”

Wouldn’t the honest answer be yes? But there’re a lot of things that could go wrong especially when her emotions take over and make her focused on things that will just make her feel worse. Besides, can she be so vulnerable in front of Hinami? She doesn’t want the girl to worry about her, when there are probably other things that are bothering. And even if she does admit that, what difference does it make? He wouldn’t come to see her.

So what is the ‘right’ answer in this case?

“I…”

Luckily loud footsteps stopped her before she had to give an answer.

“Touka-chan.”

“Yoriko?”

“T-This…” Why was she running to the point where she became out of breath? “H-He passed this over and said “for Touka-chan”… An eyepatched guy.”

In her hands was a little rabbit charm that doubled as a good luck charm for her exams.

“…neki.” She didn’t think he remembered (her entrance exam yes, but certainly not her birthday). Maybe he’s still around? With the way that Yoriko was running, it seemed like Kaneki handed it off to her not too long ago. “Sorry… I have to go home immediately!”

A hopeful thought indeed, but she still ran as fast as she could. She just wanted to see him. Was there something wrong with that?

But he was nowhere to be found. Disappointment quickly spread throughout her heart as she clutched onto her skirt and breathed out.

“You’re so sly…” she muttered out.

She walked back looking at the black tally on her wrist, wondering what was going on in his mind right now.

* * *

“Just what in the hell can you two say that you’ve done for Kaneki-kun?”

There were so many reasons why she wanted to punch his shitty ass into oblivion, but Tsukiyama’s words had a ring of truth. Sure, in the past she helped him out with coffee orders and training but recently? Nothing.

All she was really doing was waiting for him.

“Sorry for the wait, Touka-chan,” Nagachika said as he handed her a cup of coffee.

“Thanks.”

“But I never thought I’d meet you at Kamii, Touka-chan.”

“Yeah, I want to enroll in Kamii, so I came to look around.”

“Is that so…” Would he know anything about what’s going on with Kaneki? He was Kaneki’s closest friend.

“Hey/Um!”

“Ah, sorry.” Why does she feel like she has a really stupid expression on her face right now?

“Ladies first, go ahead,” he gestured.

“Kaneki-san still hasn’t been found, has he?”

“That’s right.”

“It’d be great if they found him quickly.”

That guy hasn’t contacted his friends since then…? But with the current circumstances, his friends would be in danger if Kaneki contacted them.

“Nagachika-san. About Kaneki-san, what kind of guy—person, was he?”

“Kaneki? Hm… I wonder if he’s changed now.” And so he reminisced. It doesn’t sound like Kaneki’s changed much before Aogiri, but she wonders how this person would think of Kaneki now that he’s… different. “But after his mom died, he changed a little bit… Since then, he always seemed lonely.”  

“Kaneki-san lost a parent?” That’s kind of like her.

His eyes became sadder. “Both of them.” That’s really like her. “His father when he was little and his mother from overwork.

She still had Ayato for a few years, but somewhere, it still felt lonely. Is that how Kaneki felt, lonely? Did he feel a little less lonely after he came into Anteiku? There was Hinami, the manager, Irimi-san, Koma-san, Yomo-san, and her… With all those people around, it would be hard to feel lonely.

But did he feel lonely now that he was away from the shop?

“That reminds me! I remember it really well. That shy boy played the leading part in a play.”

“Kaneki… played the lead in a play?” Like the type you see in a cultural festival?

“Yep! Though he was partially forced into it, he was surprisingly good at acting. He was bold while up on the stage.”

“Wow…” That really is unexpected.

“So I don’t know…”

“I don’t know if he’s doing well or not,” she stood up, “But he’s definitely still somewhere reading a book or something, isn’t he?!” Even if I can’t meet with him right now, he’s still alive. As long as he’s alive somewhere, he’s bound to come back eventually right? “S-So he’s definitely okay…”

He smiled and pulled his hat down. “I wonder if you know about that Touka-chan.” Touka blinked in confusion. “That guy has one mannerism.”

“Mannerism?”

“When he’s hiding something, he touches his chin like this,” Hide stated as he moved his hand to his chin. “This is a secret of Kaneki! Well… If he comes back to the shop, then you can make him spit out everything that he’s hiding.”

Touka nod in thanks.

Though… how much longer will it take for him to return back to Anteiku?

* * *

“T-Touka-san.”

Are you okay?” She’s dropping more plates.

“Somehow! He’s been here since earlier!”

Touka blinked. “Who?”

“Ka…”

Touka threw her bag in Roma’s arms and dashed out of the shop. She ran out as fast as she could, hoping this time that she could catch him. She could see his silhouette on the bridge. After months of waiting, he was _right there._

“Touka-chan…” It felt nerve wrecking to hear him say her name again.

How was she supposed to face him? She could try and be causal, but that would only make her seem more awkward, so no. She could try and be ‘normal’ and threathen to hurt him… No, no. That wasn’t going to work. What should she say?

“Touka-chan… I talked to the manger at Anteiku. I feel like that was the first time the manager ever told his own story.”

Maybe for now she should just listen to what he has to say. “I see.”

“He told me to come back to Anteiku.”

“And?”

“I don’t know.” She expected that, surprisingly. “Will joining hands with the manager help me reach my goal or not?”

“And what is your goal?” What did he decide to do that he needed to isolate himself for?

He clenched his fists. “I… want to protect everyone. Hinami-chan and Banjou-san and company, Hide, and also you too Touka-chan.” That would sound sweet, but something felt off. “I don’t want the people important to me to be snatched away, so I’ll pluck them.” He cracked his fingers in an eerie way.

Was this really the same person who was shocked when she asked him to kill investigators in her place? The person who was so afraid of the ghoul life? The person who avoid fighting, but fought when he needed to?

Still, his goal doesn’t make any sense. It’s vaguer than she thought.

“Um…Whether you’re protecting or plucking, who are your opponents? Aogiri? The doves?” True, both were terrible, but they were also massive organizations that would take at least decades to destroy. “Ghouls? Humans? Everything? Such an endless thing is your goal?” Was he planning on fighting for the rest of his life, living like this?  

“Besides that, everyone doesn’t belong to you. There’s no reason to be protected by you. You’re pretending that you’re thinking about others. But in the end, you’re just thinking about yourself. Truthfully, it’s only that you don’t want to be alone. What you want to do is just conceited self-satisfaction, isn’t it?”

It’s only now when she realizes…Underneath the guise of justice and righteousness, is the selfish desire to not be alone. And you know what? She smiled. “Just like an idiot.” She’s the same.

His eyes narrowed, but she didn’t flinch. “You are disagreeing with me aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am. Because you are wrong.” About a lot of things.

“Well that’s okay.” He scratched his _chin._ “You have to leave me alone.”

She couldn’t restrain herself from wanting to punch the fuck out of him, so she tried but he easily blocked. “Don’t make fun of me!”

Nearly every word that he said today was utter bullshit and she thoroughly wanted to kick his ass until he realized that there was no point to his ambitions. Too bad that he got better at avoiding her attacks!

“Bastard!”

“Stop it Touka-chan.” He looked sad and solemn, but she still wanted to hit him for his twisted logic.  

“Shut up!” This time she tried kick him, but he still dodged! “Don’t arbitrarily decide that you have to live by yourself!”

If he didn’t want to be alone, she wouldn’t leave him alone as long as he didn’t leave. Why can’t he see that?

_She_ didn’t want to be left alone.

_He_ didn’t want to be left alone.

Yet he _left_ her and now he wants her to have nothing to do with him?

What logic was that? He didn’t freaking need to do that. Why chose this path? Why chose an uncertain path with no clear goal? Why chose a path where you suffer? He didn’t need to be some tragic hero!  

“That sort of worn-out gloomy face like a hero from a tragedy is an eyesore! There’s no way that a guy who can’t even protect himself can protect others, right?!” She doesn’t want to see him like this, she doesn’t want this person, she wants the old him back.

“Don’t return to Anteiku!”

She finally lands a hit on him, but it doesn’t make her feel any better so she pins him down and punches him. “Why?” Another punch. “Why?” Again. “Why?” And again. “Why did things turn out this way?”

She didn’t want to cry, at least not in front of this person. Why can’t he understand? If he lives and becomes happy then that would be enough. That would be more than enough! But now look at the miserable him. Why the hell did he choose to live like this?!

She got off him and walked away, feeling a burning resentment and sorrow.

* * *

The next time she saw Anteiku, it was in crumbles. Somehow, the sight made her feel worse, she thought that she was already out of tears, but a few prickled up.

“Let’s go…Touka.”

She lost another home. She lost more family. She lost the person she loves.

“That guy… He was perplexed over whether he should return to Anteiku, so he needs to have a place to belong…” Somewhere to return to. “I will believe it. That he will return to Anteiku.” He will return to the place that they will create in memory of Anteiku.

But she’s still alive, there’s still someone by her side, there’s still hope fueling her.

Her tally mark remains black and unscarred. He’s not dead. She knows that he’ll come back someday; she’ll just have to wait until he returns.

Even though there’s nothing left, time continues to flow and hope continues to burn.

* * *

She heard the store bell ring, but no words from her ‘brother’. Again? You’d think after a year at :Re, he would be able to greet the customers!

“Hold on, Nii-san! I told you to greet the customers when they come in… How many times—“ She thought she saw an illusion, maybe a ghost, or possibly a nightmare wearing a CCG coat. “Your seats are over this way.”

“Ah, ok… Um, 3 coffees please,” the ghost requested.

She nodded and headed behind the counter to get their order.

Ok, calm down. It could not be him, he looks so… different, but some things are the same. His eyes are like they used to be, before Aogiri tortured him. Should she be happy about this? Happy that he’s living, but in the CCG that she has so many reasons to hate?

She heard Yomo-san move towards them and the shock of their customers. Oi…“Nii-san, what are you doing? Our customers are going to run away.”

“It’s him.”

Touka’s eyes widened, but she continued her work. These are members of the _CCG_.“I’ve kept you waiting.” Touka set down the three cups and bowed.

“It smells so good.”

“Wah… How tasty…”

“This really hits the spot! Sassan’s nose-kagune isn’t just for show… Ain’t that right Sassan?”

“Yeah, it’s delici—Huh?” He’s… crying?

“Sassan, you’re exaggerating too much! Is this a joke you plat on newcomers?”

“Oh man, how strange. What’s all this about?” Something in her heart thumped (because after all this time, he’s so close and yet he’s never been farther). But she had to remember to stay calm, she shouldn’t say anything if he doesn’t remember right now… She handed him her handkerchief. “Ah, thank you… It’s delicious. Seriously…”

There’s still a little bit of Kaneki in there and it looks like he still remembers a bit of his Anteiku roots. She smiled. “Thank you very much.”

As soon as they left, Yomo spoke. “He looks like he’s doing ok.”

“Yeah.”

She looked down at the lone black tally mark with a soft smile. He’ll definitely return home one day.

 

* * *

 

Maybe infatuation isn’t love, maybe that’s why a new mark didn’t appear on his wrist the day he saw her.

Haise looked at the few marks on his wrist, from his past lifetime, noting that there was really only a handful of red, probably from crushes, and a single one of those marks was a solid black. He wondered what kind of person, human or ghoul, would love the half ghoul known as Kaneki Ken. Were they looking for him now? Were they still waiting for him to return to them?


End file.
